19th September 2019

I’m sitting on the sofa with our cat Mittens ( P loves him so much and he seems to appreciate extra attention from a little human being), our other cat Meg is asleep on our bed. She hibernates in our bedroom, she also likes to sit on Papa John’s face… I often ask myself if it’s a sign of affection or an attempt of strangulation ha, ha, ha.

Our day had started positively well, I skipped exercise because my rear end hurts. When you give birth you become prone to hemorrhoids. I didn’t struggle with it when I was pregnant but it seems to be a reoccurring issue these days. I suffer from anxiety which affects my ability to be objective about health at times. In the past, I had convinced myself that hemorrhoids was something serious and I was dying. Well, I’m still here and hemorrhoids hasn’t killed me. I’m going to try to excercise tommorow and make up for two lost days.

Today, work was mentally draining and I came to a sad realisation that some people are pure morons by constantly slacking off and then announcing to others how much work they had done and how hard it had been for them.

P had had a great day with Papa John. It makes me happy that they spend a good quality time together. Papa John impresses me with his ideas e.g. he puts sand in the tuff spot and let P explore it or he makes for her sensory bottles filled with pasta, oil, water & food colouring. I appreciate his heuristic approach to parenting.

The best part of the day was seeing P & Papa John waiting for me outside of my work place. Seeing both of them helped me to cope with an anxiety attack I was experiencing. It was really bad in the afternoon, my job involves interaction with various people and I really felt like I was loosing it near the end ( I have no clue why). When I experience an anxiety attack I seem to be composed but deep inside I crumble apart. I feel my tounge going numb, my heart racing and my body sweating. I did it, I survived it. I can tick off another day of the week. It brings me closer and closer to the weekend.

P loves her bath time and rocks the bubble hair style.